Self-pleasure is an important part of our lives. Let’s be honest. WE ALL DO IT. Yet, many of us don’t talk about it because there’s historically a lot of stigma around self-pleasure (especially for women), which creates internalized shame. That’s why I’m writing this blog: to discuss self-pleasure, what it means for you as an individual and why I ABSOLUTELY encourage you to have regular self-pleasure practice (and be proud of it).

Ready to unlock your full potential and start living life to the fullest? In this video training, we’ll explore four essential steps to stop working against your body and start slowing down.

Self-pleasure is the act of touching your own body to experience sexual arousal.

Self-pleasure is touching your body to experience sexual arousal and pleasure. It doesn’t have to result in an orgasm. It’s a normal and healthy part of life for every single human. Self-pleasure can be used by anyone regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. There is a stigma that if you self-pleasure, you’re not sexually satisfied by your partner. This is FALSE.

Yes, self-pleasure can have health benefits.

Self-pleasure is a healthy way to relax, relieve stress and tension, and experience pleasure. PLUS, it can also help you sleep better.

Self-pleasure reduces anxiety and improves sleep quality in women with fibromyalgia. Many people find that self-pleasuring helps them fall asleep more quickly at night and stay asleep longer than they would otherwise.

Self-pleasure can also help you feel less stressed out during the day as it increases the production of oxytocin, which makes you feel happy and relaxed after orgasm. This can help calm any anxiety you may be feeling about work or other problems by distracting you from whatever’s stressing you out—and making it easier to get back into whatever task at hand when those feelings pass!

It’s an excellent way to explore your body and determine your likes and dislikes.

This is a great way to explore your body and figure out what you like, where your G-spot is, what kind of pressure you like, what toys get you going, and so on. It helps you learn what feels good and what doesn’t, which you need to know before you explore with a partner. If you don’t know what you like on your own, I can guarantee that unless you have an extremely open and supportive partner, likely you’ll stay silent in the bedroom, and you’re more likely to experience sexual dissatisfaction. Which, by the way, can create more shame, trauma, and disconnect in your body.

When you’re exploring your body on your own, there’s no pressure from others, which means it’s easier for you to relax and enjoy yourself. I highly recommend exploring new toys and textures by yourself first before introducing them to a partner. You’ll feel more confident going into the bedroom with your partner.

Self-pleasure allows you to access your powerful sexual energy.

Sexual pleasure allows you to take back your power, become the master of turning on your sexual energy (the most powerful part of a feminine being) and be able to meet your own needs, meaning everything else you want is a desire and not a dependant need.

The more you depend on someone else for turn-on and pleasure, the more you are waiting for your desires to be met by another person (and giving your power away). Your sexual energy is your life force energy and can be used to transmute energy from one form to another. This is why it can be so healing. The best way to access this is to tune into the sensations in your body as you explore your pleasure and body by yourself.

How you self-pleasure directly affects how you have sex with another person, so claim your self-pleasure as a source of power and love. You’ll then have a different experience of love and magnetism, especially in dating or your relationship.

There is a direct connection between how you relate to your body sexually and how available you are to intimacy. Think about it, if you fear feeling yourself, you’re going to fear another person feeling you or you feeling another person, right?

Self-pleasure is a healthy and normal part of life.

Your body is a healthy, normal part of your life and experiencing pleasure is your birthright. The more you self-pleasure, the more connected you will be with your own body and the more turned on, leading to more intimacy with your partner (in most cases). Self-pleasure is also extremely powerful as an emotional healing tool to release internal trauma (more on this in a future post) and clear sexual shame. When you’ve cleared layers and generations of shame, trapped emotions, and trauma, you’ll become more and more sexually liberated, and guess what? This will only increase your liberation in the bedroom with your partner!

Many relationships are stronger when both partners are comfortable with each other touching themselves without feeling like they need to hide it from each other.

As we reach the climax of this post…

I can do an entire blog series on the topic of self-pleasure, but let’s end it on this. Pleasure is one of the most important things in life. Pleasure makes us human, and it’s essential to our well-being. Self-pleasure is about taking care of your body and mind to enjoy your life to the fullest! The best way to learn about self-pleasure is by doing it yourself, so here is your giant permission slip to integrate a regular self-pleasure practice into your weekly routine and WATCH how things start to shift and transform for you. Enjoy.

If you’re ready to feel sexy and confident in your body, experience orgasmic pleasure, and feel comfortable initiating sex with your partner then my signature program Sex Queen is for you. Apply here.