Communication is key to a successful relationship and asking your partner questions is a great way to increase your pleasure, spice up your sex life, get to know each other even better and get turned on by the conversation before even getting physical.

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Here are 40 questions to ask your partner to deeper your connection and intimacy (including 10 sexy questions). Set a vibey scene with some candles, sensual music and without phones, and then dive into 3-5 questions at a time. You could always pick the questions and journal your answers before taking turns to share out loud if that feels better than sharing directly out loud first.

30 Questions for Intimacy & Connection

  1. What is your biggest fear?
  2. What is your deepest desire?
  3. What do you love the most about me?
  4. What is one thing about yourself that you’ve never told anyone before?
  5. If you were given 1 magic wish, what would it be for?
  6. What are your 3 favorite memories together?
  7. What are you struggling with most right now?
  8. How do you need to be shown love?
  9. What makes you feel the most understood?
  10. What makes you feel appreciated?
  1. What is one word that describes our relationship?
  2. My sexiest feature is?
  3. How can I show you that I appreciate you?
  4. What is your favorite form of physical touch?
  5. What is your biggest fear in our relationship?
  6. How do you describe me to other people?
  7. What is the first thing you noticed about me?
  8. What qualities make me special to you?
  9. What could I do for you that I don’t do now”
  10. What is one word that describes our relationship?
  11. What goals do you have for us?
  12. Where do we want to travel together?
  13. What new things that neither of us has done can we do together?
  14. How can we spice things up this year (make a sex bucket list)?
  15. What new hobbies or activities do we want to try out?
  16. What favorite movies shall we watch together on date night?
  17. What are your main values and what are our shared values?
  18. Do we have a shared vision for our life?
  19. Have we experienced conflict and challenge and how do I feel about how we overcame it?
  20. Where do we want to travel together this year? (Make a couple’s bucket list)

10 Sex Questions to Ask Your Partner

  1. What turns you on?
  2. What turns you off? 
  3. What is a hard no for you?
  4. What’s your favorite thing I’ve ever done to you?
  5. What gets you in the mood the most?
  6. What is a sexual fantasy that you’ve never told anyone?
  7. What is something you’ve never done yet that you are open to trying?
  8. What is your favorite body part to be touched?
  9. What is your dream after-care date?
  10. What is your biggest sexual desire?

For any gender, but especially for women it is important to emotionally connect, then sensually connect before you move into anything sexual. Asking each other these questions will allow your connection and intimacy to reach new levels of depth which will support your relationship in thriving and taking your sexual intimacy to new levels.